New beginnings

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I, like many others, always tell myself that summer will make it all better.  I’ll have more time, more focus, more opportunities, better weather, etc.  While that is all very true, I also have more responsibilities, more parties, more freedom (which can be good or bad), etc.

Since restarting weight watchers in January, I have lost a total of 13.2 pounds.  A leader many years ago once said, “Let’s be honest, even when you aren’t fully on program, it’s still there lurking in the back of your head.”  I whole heartedly agree with this.  I’ve probably honestly earned about seven of those thirteen pounds.  Considering I have not been fully committed and on program consistently over these past six months, that’s a pretty remarkable loss in my book.

The problem here is what I always seem to come back to.  I am not happy in my skin.  And this happiness is completely and utterly in my control.  Toward the end of the school year, I made a promise to myself that I would track everything, on program or not.  In doing this, I lost about 4-5 pounds (even when I was completely over my weeklies).  I attribute this to the fact that I was mindful of what I was putting in my mouth. Clearly, Weight Watchers works when you do (duh) and so I need to get back to following the plan.

Because I am very type A and maybe a little OCD,  strange things set me off/get me motivated.  The problem with this is that while it can help lead to my rise, it can also easily cause my demise.  Whenever I feel the need to recommit to the program, I look at the calendar and see if I can find some date to motivate me (NOTE:  As I just typed that lightening struck my brain. Maybe this isn’t helping me at all since I always do it and it has yet to work…hell, I am a creature of habit, so I’ll do it again.)  There are 16 weeks until my birthday.  I think that is a reasonable time to see some results.  My goal is to lose at least a pound a week (which frankly, sounds like nothing, but will add up over a year’s time).  I figure if I am honestly committed to the program and do not get the results that I want in that time, then I can quit, change programs, cry, stomp, etc.  However, if I do not follow the program of (wait for it) MY CHOICE and do not see results then I am not permitted to complain at all about the reflection I see staring back at me.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of looking at the weeks and thinking, “Wow, if I had only started when I said I would then think of where I would be.”  And the funny thing about all of this is that it becomes sort of addicting, at least for me.  Once I start tracking and losing, I don’t want to break my streak and it becomes easier and easier to stick to the program and meet my goals.  It’s getting started that is the hardest part and yet I constantly make it so that I have to do just that.

I do plan on writing more (and not just my 100 days of why posts) as it helps me to sort out my thoughts and stay motivated.  It’s been difficult being home this summer because I struggle to pull myself away (or wake up earlier) to fit in the ME time that I so desperately need.  I, like always, have put myself on the back burner and I do it so often that I don’t even realize it when it happens anymore.

Thanks for sticking by me.  I am sure that you’d rather be reading a motivating success story, but as of right now, this is where I am at.

One day at a time, one foot in front of the other…join me as I begin again.

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