I wish that I could share that I’ve had some epiphany over the past week. That everything has fallen into place and that I am no longer having a hard time. That I have lost a significant amount of weight, remained within my points, put myself first, or any of those other things that I’ve said I’d do, but I haven’t.
I’ve been hesitant to write another post about my difficulty. I want to be a success story, but I realize that along with being a success story is sharing the struggles. I’d be lying or not using this place for its purpose if I didn’t write about the hard times. The heavy, sad, tough stuff that I am very presently dealing with right now. It’s here and it’s happening. Embarrassing or not, doing well or not, I need to share it.
I’ve been toying with quitting Weight Watchers and trying the 21 Day Fix again. I did it for a about three weeks (before I was even pregnant with the baby) and had some success. I saw results quickly, but as I just mentioned, I lasted on it for about three weeks. I attribute this to a few things, but the main one being that it was very strict and difficult to follow…especially because I cook for both myself and my husband and it was a lot to plan for two people. I also couldn’t seem to find my rhythm in terms of food prep.
Let’s be honest, what I am looking for are dramatic results. As with the 21 Day Fix, I’ve had those type of results with Weight Watchers before, too. Want to know what the trick is? Following the damn plan, whatever it is!
Before making the decision to cancel Weight Watchers, I decided that I would do something that I had planned to do when I first started and work through the Oprah videos. Some might disagree, but I find her inspiring, honest, etc. I had told myself when I first began in January that I would make the time to watch her weekly installments, but did I? No. Things just got in the way.
As I’ve mentioned before, I believe the universe gives you what you need at the exact time that you need it so long as you are listening. All of its whispers came together today.
**Forgive me if the following seems all over the place, it will all fall into place, I promise!
Despite not following the plan whole heartedly over the past few weeks, I have been attending my Weight Watchers meetings. As my leader says, bring the body and the mind will follow. My mind is on vacation somewhere, but the old body is still in the green seat each week!
This week at my meeting, a lifetime member was sharing her struggle with keeping her “why” nearby. There were a number of outside sources presently standing in her way. Another woman shared that when she was experiencing similar feelings last January, she decided it would be the year of me. She shared that at first her family wasn’t crazy about this change, but that it made her better in the end. A better mom, friend, wife, etc. She said it was really hard, but it helped to clear her mind and truly changed her life. She added that she also journaled her feelings throughout the day and week in an effort to get them out of her mind and onto the paper.
This brings me to today. I sat down at my computer and, feeling in need of a bit of “me time”, I decided to watch the next video in Oprah’s installment (Intention is Your Compass–January 12, 2017*).
During the installment, Oprah discussed the importance of living with intention. She shared that with anything in her life, she always asks herself, “Why am I doing this?” If her answer does not match her intention, she does not do it. How seldom do we stop and ask ourselves the reasoning behind our actions/decisions?
How important is this–not only during this journey, but with any path that proves difficult? To simply question our reasoning behind the actions, as well as whether or not it matches the path we’ve intended for our life?
She also shared that we must be diligent in not allowing the business of life to get in the way of our intentions. We need to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this?” because, according to Oprah, “The energy behind the intention decides the outcome.” If what we are doing does not serve our intention, then quite simply, we should not be doing it.
It isn’t any different with weight loss. We must decide our intention for losing the weight and keep if at the forefront of our mind.
We need to be selfish. We need to ask ourselves, “What am I going to do to help me today?” Because continuing to eat the food to drown the sorrows, to push ourselves to the max with little time to do the things we love, to give and give and give and not replenish our souls isn’t going to help us to be our best selves. And in being our best selves, we will improve the quality of our own lives, but all the lives of all those surrounding us.
As the woman in meeting stated, I need to work on putting myself first. And so I am going to spend the remainder of the day thinking about the intention behind my weight loss because this is my first step. This is my written acknowledgement.
*None of my posts are endorsed by Weight Watchers. I simply share what I experience and feel in relation to the program and the tools that have been provided. If you are a WW member, you can find her installments by logging into the WW website, clicking “Living” on the top left and then on Oprah (right below). If you are not a WW member, I still think much of what I write here is applicable. I’ve found the feelings of weight loss are similar, regardless of the program.