The Struggle is REAL!

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I haven’t posted in a while, mainly because life has gotten in the way.  Nothing crazy is going on, in fact, everything is great. But, I started this blog to be honest and to have a place to share when life happens.  And it’s happening.

I have been doing okay with my weight loss since starting over. I use the word okay, because I haven’t been giving it my full focus–frankly, I am half-assing my way along.  In my heart, I want to lose the weight, reach my goal, etc., but life and time and life get in my way.  I am terrible at putting myself first.  In fact, I’ve been wanting to share this post for a while, but that would require me to allot a period of time to myself in order to write.  Also,  I don’t want to sound like a whiny, lazy brat because when all is said and done, I have the power to make the changes and to do or not do what I need to be successful.

And that, to me, is the hardest part.  Clearly, I don’t want this badly enough if I am not taking the steps to make it happen.  I am trying to serve myself a hard dose of reality, to look myself straight in the eye, determine what needs to be done, and do it.  No more bitching about it, no more making big plans and not following through, no more starting over for the umpteenth time.  Do or do not, there is no try.

Now, I am very type A and so writing things down seems to help me to organize my thoughts/create a plan of action.

  1. I think one of the most important things that I need to focus on is making time for myself.  Apparently, I SUCK at this! I love helping other people, but as I’ve heard so many times, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”  I never really understood the importance of this until recently.  I cannot be the best mom, wife, friend, sister, teacher, etc. without first being the best me that I can be.  I just feel selfish doing so. My husband often says that I don’t even recognize when I need a break.  To just sit  and be.  To read, to text, to shop, to close my eyes and breath.  I also don’t have many hobbies and so it’s easy for me to get lost in everyone else’s shuffle.  This is something I need to work on…actively work on, because it’s so easy for me to put myself on the back burner.  Interestingly enough, I just realized that the people in my Weight Watchers meetings who have had the most success seem to be the best at putting themselves first.  They also share the struggle of not doing so for so long.
  2. Find an activity that I enjoy and commit to doing it.  In the past, when I had success with my weight loss I also was training for a half marathon.  Initially, I didn’t love running.  It was something I wanted to try and as I did, I learned to love it.  Unfortunately, I let it fall to the way side and as a result, it now feels like a chore again (I am pretty sure I’ve written about this in the past).  Tomorrow morning, I am going to write down an exercise plan that I can follow (nothing insane or crazy). I’d like to start running again; however, I need to accept that short distances are just as significant as long ones.  I also joined Beach Body On Demand  so that I could complete some of their workouts at home (I joined in January or February…ask me if I have used it…).  Two that interested me were the 3 Week Yoga Retreat and Country Heat.  I figure these are also some easy, fun workouts that I can do while the baby plays, in the morning or even after he falls asleep at night.  Every little bit counts, right?
  3. Set my home and work settings up for success.  This weekend will be a great time to sit down, plan my meals for the week, grocery shop for what I need, and stock my spaces with the things I need to be successful.  I bought a personal fridge for work because the community refrigerator in my department is always packed. I wanted space to be able to set myself up for a week or two in order to make my nights a bit easier (in terms of packing lunch/snacks/breakfast daily).  By stocking my work fridge with healthy options, it allows me to only need to worry about packing a quick lunch each evening.  While this was my plan, I hadn’t actually done this since setting up the fridge (mainly because there were sporadic days off or because I didn’t make the time to shop for what I needed).  I also have the most success when I plan out my meals for the week,  Typically, I work backwards.  I will plan for dinner and then work out the rest of my points for the day from there.  This also works hand in hand in making some time for myself.  I actually really enjoy grocery shopping and haven’t been able to peacefully go in quite some time.  I am going to make it a point to return to my old weekly grocery shopping habit (which will help with my “me” time and with my success for the week).
  4. Attend my Weight Watchers meeting every Saturday.  This sets me up for a solid week, allows me to share my success/struggles, provides me with food for thought, and it’s something that I enjoy doing.  In fact, I have my best weeks when I attend my meeting.
  5. Track, track, track. The good, the bad, the ugly.  Whether or not I write it down doesn’t change the fact that I ate it.  Might as well write it down.
  6. Start on Saturday! Lately, I have found a reason to “cheat” Saturday, which leads to Sunday, Monday, Tuesday…Screw it, I’ll start again next Saturday.  I suppose that connects to Track, Track, Track.
  7. Write.  In writing, I am able to clear my mind space.

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